Right Side of the Wrong Bed
by Veritable-Wasteland
Summary: "Xion, the day I agree to go, will be the day there's a skating rink in hell and the Devil and Jeffery Dahmer will be handing out snow cones and mint ice cream." These were famous last words for Roxas McCartney. The second the syllables flew from the golden blonde-haired, blue-eyed male's lips, his fate, was pretty much sealed. A story of inevitability, in three parts.


Hello there, Cool Kids of the Internet! And Happy Single Awareness Day…er Valentine's Day!

This is just a little Romantic Dramedy (more Comedy than Drama, knowing me) in three parts. It was inspired by Drunk by Ed Sheeran, (the title actually comes from a line in the song) Daylight by Maroon 5 and my own little trip down Failed Relationship Lane. This isn't a 'high school story' either, High School is just a starting point. If you're following my collection of drabbles, yes, this is an extended (less sad) version of Doo-Wop number four…

* * *

Right Side of the Wrong Bed – Part One – Drunk

* * *

"Xion, the day I agree to go to Prom, will be the day there's a skating rink in hell and the Devil and Jeffery Dahmer will be handing out snow cones and mint ice cream."

These were famous last words for Roxas McCartney. The second the syllables flew from the golden blonde-haired, blue-eyed seventeen year-old's lips, his fate, was pretty much sealed. His best friend, a dark haired, petite girl, stared back at him as they sat in the cafeteria picking at something the cafeteria had the audacity to call lasagna. Roxas, had lovingly dubbed it: Cat Vomit Surprise. Xion narrowed her own set of deep blue eyes and her brow was set in a determined fashion. Xion Panettiere did not like being told no.

This was not a new topic of conversation. She'd been trying to convince Roxas to attend the annual dance for the better part of six months now. It wasn't that he was an anti-social being, quite the opposite in fact. Roxas and his, older by eleven minutes, (yes, they counted) fraternal twin were well known around school and Destiny Islands as a whole. Sora, was a well-liked Blitzball player and Roxas was pretty popular himself as a frequenter of small local and school plays as well as being a top Struggle player. It was just, being in an overheated, overcrowded, darkened hotel ballroom with a group of hormonal urges in the shape of teenage boys and girls, bumping and grinding all over each other like they were trying to live the lyrics of _Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, _was NOT his idea of fun.

"We have to go! Everyone else is and if we don't go, we'll regret it for life." Xion argued weakly.

"And since when do you care about doing what everyone else is, Madame I Don't Even Breathe On a Regular Basis Because It's Too Mainstream." Roxas answered.

Xion flicked a sporkful of her Cat Vomit Surprise at his face. He expertly dodged it and the two of them had to quickly duck their heads and hold in their laughter as it pegged some poor, unsuspecting, freshman in the eye. After a minute of stillborn giggling fits, the two, or rather, Xion, continued their initial conversation.

"Anyway," She giggled. "I _don't_ care what everyone else is doing, I just know I want to go and I want my best friend to go with me."

"Why? Because you can't get a better date?" Roxas snickered.

"Keep it up and you'll be wearing this entire tray, Blondie," She warned in a dark tone. "Come on, even if it sucks total ass, at least we can say we went, then afterwards we can crash someone's after party, score some free alcohol and get something pierced or tattooed."

"You need another piercing, like I need a bullet wound in my general groin area, you walking Pincushion."

Xion shook her head with a smile as she ran a finger down the various studs and hoops that decorated both ears. "No, what you mean to say is I need another piercing like you need an updated sense of adventure, Crotchety Old Man. What if I throw in some sea salt ice cream?"

"Hmm, tempting, but no."

Xion continued to bounce between pouting and throwing out different incentives to the blonde teen. And Roxas continued to turn every single one of them down. Prom was not his thing. He didn't need to get all dressed up to see some half-baked decorations and hear some watered down, radio saturated, Punk Rock and R&B to solidify the fact that they were finally graduating next month. As far as he was concerned, he wouldn't be caught dead there.

* * *

"This is some Grade A bullshit." Roxas muttered under his breath as his brother helped him straighten up the bow-tie on his tux. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, which hung somewhat crookedly, in his room. He was the spitting image of an absolute sellout.

"It won't be that bad. I know some of the people on the Prom Committee and they said that it's going to be great." Sora reassured his brother with a wide grin.

"Sora," Roxas sighed. "That's what they _have _to say to get people to go. No one goes around advertising something's going to suck ass when there's $55, or $65 if you're from another school, tickets on the line."  
"You see that attitude right there? That's exactly why Mom always gave me extra cookies."

Sora tsked at his brother's bad attitude. He finished the tie and continued to pick and prod at the various minute imperfections on the tuxedo.

"No, mom gave you extra cookies because she felt bad about dropping you on your head so many times." Roxas corrected as he shooed the probing hands away.

Sora rolled his eyes at his twin and mumbled something mildly profane under his breath, before going off to attend to his own appearance. They only had about five more minutes before their group would show. Five more minutes before he'd have to encounter Xion's smug face for the rest of the night. How he was going to survive this thing, was the great unknown at the moment. Oh, the things the young man went through for Xion's extra ticket to go see Yellowcard and All Time Low the week after graduation.

The two finished primping and hadn't even made it halfway downstairs before the doorbell rang. Their parents opened the door, allowing Xion and Sora's two best friends; a tall silver-haired boy named Riku and a somewhat taller than Xion, redhead named Kairi, to spill in through the front door. Thus, signaling the beginning of the Parental Cooing Fest. Mrs. McCartney cooed over Xion's choice of a dark form fitting dress and Kairi's light pink gown while Mr. McCartney began snapping so many pictures all five teens were seeing spots by the time they finally managed to escape.

"So, what flavor snow cones do you think they're passing out down in Hell, right now?" Xion asked with a particularly self-satisfied grin on her face as they made their way to the driveway.

"Shouldn't you be down there finding out?" Roxas made a cross with his fingers. "I rebuke you, evil demon. Return to the netherworld!"

Xion slapped him playfully before she held out her arm for her best friend to take. There was no going back now. Sora called shotgun, as the five of them piled into Riku's white jalopy. (Their parents had offered to pool money together for a limo, but any smart kid knows a prom limo is a fancy way of saying "Here's your curfew and built in Adult Supervision".) Before any conversation could even be attempted, Sora took it upon himself to begin blasting, much to Roxas' ire, _Party Rock Anthem_. Roxas had a feeling before this night was over, every last tendril of sanity was going to shrivel up and die.

* * *

The ride to the hotel wasn't long. (excruciating when Sora felt the need to play _Sorry for Party Rocking_ on repeat, but not long.) The second they made it inside the actual ballroom, even Roxas had to admit, the place looked pretty amazing. The theme was Old Hollywood and there was red, black, and white as far as the eye could see. There was a fog machine gushing clouds of the stuff onto the dancefloor and a huge DJ booth overlooking it. The floor held a knock-off Hollywood Walk of Fame with what looked like the entire senior classes' name. Roxas was admittedly impressed with the way the place looked and the music wasn't entirely bad either. But what really caught his attention, was further from the hustle and bustle everyone else was gushing over.

"Oh, my days. Is that a full-sized chocolate fountain?" Xion breathed.

"Yes, yes it is. Xion, I might cry." Roxas whispered back.

"No, there's no time for tears, man. We have to make our move." She replied before grabbing his arm and yanking him towards the refreshment table. They grabbed a handful of skewers and immediately went to town on the strawberries, pineapple chunks and cookies.

"If I knew this was going to be here, I wouldn't have fought against the idea so much." Roxas said through a mouthful of fruit and chocolate.

"See? You should listen to me more often. Do I ever steer you wrong?" Xion asked, her own jaws preoccupied with chewing an experimental combination of a strawberry, chocolate and oatmeal cookie.

"Well," The blonde swallowed. "There was that time when we were five and you told me that if I jumped down the stairs with a sheet tied to my back, I'd fly. But instead broke my arm."

"Okay, that's one –"

"Then when were nine, you said I wouldn't get hurt if I rode that bicycle without a seat. But I wound up scraping my entire first layer of skin off the inside of my thigh lengthwise on the exposed metal. I couldn't walk straight for a week."

"Well, yeah but –"

"And not to mention just last year you dared me to backflip off of the trampoline and –"

"Alright! I get it. I have some sucky ideas. Jeez!" Xion huffed. "But this, is not one of them."

Roxas smiled triumphantly before he went back to stuffing his face.

They spent most of the dance like this. Hovering over the refreshment table and conversing. They talked about which couples looked just plain weird together, who looked a hot mess and what exactly they were going to do after prom. Every now and then Sora, covered in sweat from the no doubt hot and humid dance section, tried his hardest to convince them to do something other hoard food. Xion did wind up ditching Roxas a few times. Once, to join a huge mosh pit and two more other times to dance with a guy she'd had a crush on since freshman year. During those times, Roxas would converse with whoever was around. Some of his other friends, Hayner, Pence and Olette kept him company for a while until, they too, were lured by the strobe light covered dance floor.

"You do realize that you won't get the bubonic plague if you just dance once, right?" Xion asked after her last round of dancing. There were beads of sweat decorating her brow. Her dress, despite how tight it was, was wrinkled in some places.

"Yeah, but I also have no interest in spontaneously combusting from the heat." Roxas explained as he bobbed his head along to a song of particular interest.

"Sure, Party Po – Oh my soul, who the hell is _that_?" Xion gasped, her eyes widening.

Roxas, intrigued, turned to see what exactly had spawned Xion's moment of ADHD, and when he did, his own jaw met with the floor.

It was a rather tall guy. He had to be at least a head taller than Roxas. He was wiry with long limbs and an angular face that he hadn't quite grown into yet. He had shockingly red hair that was messily pulled back into a high ponytail, although the front of it, obviously had no interest in being tamed, as it continued to jut out at various odd angles. He had two small tattoos underneath each of his eyes, and where on most it looked trashy, somehow seemed to just fit him. Roxas could by tell how the man walked, he wasn't exactly used to his height.

"Uh-oh," Xion whispered. "Is this love at first sight, I see?" She asked jokingly, nudging her friend gently with an elbow.

Roxas shushed her and nudged her back with a discreet smile. "He's quite…interesting, I'll give him that."

"Yeah, interesting. I think that bit of drool on your chin would say that's the understatement of the year." The blonde teen quickly reached up to his face as Xion let out a giggle. "That's what I thought."

Roxas rolled his eyes and dropped his hand realizing that he'd been tricked. His eyes made their way back to the redhead who seemed to be looking for someone. "He must be visiting the islands because there is _no_ way someone like that could walk around here completely unnoticed."

Xion nodded in agreement. The two inconspicuously watched the man as he stood in the archway that separated the refreshment room from where the real party was being held. The redhead stood there for a while longer before Riku emerged from the dancefloor and the two shared a brief hug and words.

"I should have figured the silver-haired kid and the redhead would be friends. Birds of weird colored feathers, flock together." Xion spoke up. She looked to Roxas. "Why don't you introduce yourself? All in the spirit of making new friends and all that jazz."

Roxas shrugged and turned back to the chocolate fountain. He was tempted to, he really was. But with so many people around, he just didn't really have the nerve to do it. Xion sighed at her friend and his hopeless attitude. If she had it her way, she'd just shove him over there but she knew it wasn't her place. Instead she spent the remaining hour and a half of prom trying to mentally will "Mystery Man" to turn around and notice herself and her friend, to no avail.

Promptly at midnight, the music stopped and all of the chaperones, began ushering the still primed to party teens, out of the building. (Xion and Roxas made sure to shove as many of the remaining cookies into her small clutch as they could. Hey, free food is free food.) Sora, Kairi and Riku were already waiting at the car when the two finally made their way out.

"About time you two made it." Riku called first as they walked up the trio.

"Blame Mr. Popular here. For some reason, everyone decided to wait until the _end_ of prom to ask this gaudy wallflower to take pictures and crap."

Roxas took it upon himself to stick his tongue out at his best friend before turning back to the other part of their group. "I know there's no way we're heading back home now, so what's the play, Designated Driver?" Roxas asked with a grin.

Riku let out a chuckle. "I know some people who are throwing an after party at the beach. The real party is in the cave if you catch my drift."

The other teens nodded before climbing back into the car. Much to Roxas' amusement, Sora was having trouble finding his LMFAO CD, but no one knew what had happened to it. Apparently, Roxas wasn't the only one who could only take but so much "Party Rocking."

* * *

The ride to the beach was a bit longer than the trip to the hotel, especially with the added pit stop they made change to out of their prom attire into something more casual. While everyone but Riku seemed to be going in and out of consciousness during the ride, they were teeming with excitement by the time they set foot onto the sand. It seemed like the entire senior class from the only two high schools on the small island were here. There were teenagers playing in the sand and splashing each other with icy cold seawater and some couples with arms linked just walking along peacefully. The five made their way into the cave, which was filled with people. There was music blasting from a stereo in the corner and a huge punchbowl opposite it, that you could practically smell the alcohol wafting from.

"Now, this is an after party." Kairi spoke up excitedly. She waved at a group of kids she knew and with a quick "see you later", bounced off to hang with them.

Roxas found himself scanning the area trying to find a face that wasn't so familiar. He held out just a bit of hope that he would come into contact with Riku's redheaded friend. Although, he wasn't sure why. It wasn't like he was gutsy enough to actually say anything to the guy.

"Want one?" Sora's voice ended his search. He turned to see his brother holding out a bottle of something red. "It's a wine cooler. Strawberry." He offered with a smile.

Roxas returned the grin. "Thanks, bro."

"No problem." Sora replied before leaning in closely. "You're looking for someone, aren't you?"

"What? No." The blonde twin lied smoothly. "I'm just taking in my surroundings is all."

Sora gave a skeptical look. "Uh huh. Well I hope you find whoever you're looking for." The brunette answered coolly before walking off towards Riku and a group of people playing Spades.

Roxas and Xion sat and watched the game themselves for a while. At least until the overwhelming number of bodies around the young blonde started to get to him. He tapped Xion and told her he was going outside for a minute before squeezing his way through the mass of humans. He took in a deep breath as soon as he got outside. The air had gotten just a little chillier but he almost didn't notice. He was on his second and a half bottle of wine coolers and internally, he felt pretty warm. He ambled out onto the sand as he finished his drink. He sat the bottle down on the ground and continued walking until he'd gotten a good distance away from the noise.

The beach was pretty dark sans the bit of light the moon provided and honestly that was just the way Roxas liked it. He kept moving forward, his head tilted upwards taking in the fullness of the moon and the beauty of the stars when he felt the ground give away up under him. He had little time to react as he went tumbling downwards, feeling for a moment like Alice in Wonderland, before his body connected with something softer and much bonier than ground. It took Roxas' alcohol addled brain a second to realize that he'd not landed on something, but someone. He rolled over and was met with crazy red hair and an exceptionally angular face.

"Hey there, come here often?" The voice from the other teen was smooth and deep. It fit the face nicely.

"Huh?" Roxas answered intelligently. He scrambled to sit up and began to dust the sand from his body.

"You okay, kid?" Mystery Redhead asked.

Roxas nodded vigorously, nearly making his eyes cross. Well, now he knew why people said 'be careful what you wish for.'

"Good, because my car's parked pretty far from here and I can only guess that walking with a lapful of puke is not exactly what dreams are made of. That and Demyx took my keys around beer number two." Mystery Redhead looked Roxas over. "Were you at the Destiny High Prom?" Roxas nodded again. "Thought so. Nice to meet you." Axel clumsily stuck out his hand in the small space and Roxas took it. He nodded once more to insinuate that the feeling was mutual. He was starting to feel stupid by not saying anything but he just couldn't find the words _to_ say anything back to the man. It was like the fall had knocked not only the wind out of him, but his vocabulary as well.

Roxas swallowed his pride. It wasn't everyday a wish actually came true. He was going to say something even if it killed him. No matter how counterproductive that sounded. "Y-you don't live around here, right? I –I've never seen you around before." Roxas stuttered.

Axel gave him a small smile. "No, I'm actually from Radiant Gardens. Came here to visit some family members who'd be more useful to me as a flaming bag of dog shit. The parents felt bad I'd be missing my own prom so they insisted I attend Riku's. They love Riku, by the way. I really couldn't care less either way. 'Bout prom I mean. Riku's cool."

"I know wh-what you mean." Roxas slurred. "Best friend made me come. Yellowcard tickets."

"See, now _that's _real incentive. I'd probably steal an old woman's cane for a ticket to that show. Not that I make it a habit of harassing elderly women. Just makin' a point." Axel looked Roxas over. "I think I like you, Stranger. We should be friends." He hiccupped.

Roxas beamed at that and nodded in agreement. The blonde had never been happier to have been at gravity's whim. If he hadn't fallen, then he never would have had the nerve to meet this guy. But that thought raised a question. "H-Hey, Ho-how'd you get down here?" He asked.

"Same way you did. I was walking and fell in. Think someone dug it as a trap. Could get out, but I got comfy."

"Oh." Roxas replied simply. The two of them were quiet for a while. Mystery Redhead kept his eyes skyward while Roxas did his best to take in as much of his partner-in-falling's appearance as possible. He did his best to keep his head tilted upwards like the other male's, while letting his eyes wander freely. He thought he was doing a good job. Then again, what did his wine cooler-impaired brain know?

"See something interesting?" Mystery Redhead asked without taking his eyes from the sky. Roxas sat rigid and began to blush extremely hard. "Was just – I like your jacket." The blonde mumbled in an attempt to save himself.

"That so?" The other teen sat up. "Didn't look like you were lookin' at my jacket."

Roxas shrugged, unable to come up with any type of convincing lie. He felt the stirrings of panic well up in his chest and he wondered if he had enough coordination to climb out of here. He was about to do his best to vault over the wall when suddenly the angular face that was just beside him, was directly in front of him, effectively blocking any and every possible escape route.

"Can I tell you a secret, New Friend? It isn't somethin' I can tell just anybody, but I can tell I can trust you." Roxas blinked his now wide blue eyes, in response. Mystery Redhead obviously took this as a 'yes' and moved a little closer. "I think you're cute and would very much like to kiss you."

The blonde blinked again. Well this had certainly escalated quickly. Roxas didn't have a chance to respond verbally or otherwise. Mystery Redhead moved swiftly for someone who before, seemed to have trouble conducting a proper handshake. Their lips were connected and Roxas was at a loss, response-wise. Two wishes had come true tonight. The kiss ended quicker than he expected. He opened his eyes to find a pair of fiery green ones staring back at him.

"Wow," The other guy breathed. "You really suck at this."

Roxas' mouth fell open. "W-wha – No, I d-don't! I just…wasn't ready." He defended himself. His entire face went redder than a Macintosh apple.

Mystery Man raised both brows. "Yeah? All right then, we'll try again."

Roxas was taken by the chin and kissed again. He did his best to keep up with the movement of the other man's lips. He felt more ready for it this time and thought he was doing much better, but again, what did his alcohol-jacked brain know?

"No, you just really suck at kissing." The redhead laughed. "Haven't you ever kissed someone before?"

Roxas averted eye contact and felt more than just a little compelled to hit the guy and scramble out of the hole. He should have known two wishes coming true was too good to be…true. He felt a finger poke his forehead.

"Hey, didn't mean to make you feel bad or nothin'. Not ever kissin' someone isn't something to be all embarrassed over. I can teach you. Just remember, this is all a secret." Mystery Man reassured him and emphasized the word 'secret' by making a shushing motion with his finger. "Guessin' neither of us really want anyone finding out about this, right?"

Roxas mumbled something in agreement He was somewhat amazed that this guy read him so clearly. Maybe he more transparent when he was a little tipsy. Maybe this guy just had more practice at picking out the gay kid in a crowd. He, in fact, really didn't want anyone to know about his attraction to men. The only people who did know, were Sora and Xion. He was sure there were other people like him on the island but if they did exist, they were better at hiding than Carmen Sandiego. He didn't think anyone had really caught onto him. He had a reputation for not dating, but most people seemed to chalk it up to his lack of free time. When Struggling wasn't in season, he was memorizing lines for some show. And any extra time between that,/ was spent with Xion or his brother and Riku and Kairi. Roxas' musings were cut short by another poke to the forehead.

"Just follow my lead," The redhead said. "Don't try to be a hero or nothin' just do what I do." He instructed.

For the third time that night, Mystery Man was kissing him. It was slower this time and every time the blonde was given instruction, he did his best to follow it without blushing. They spent what felt like a century, going over the mechanics of kissing. The blonde went from being laughed at, to being complimented, which really only made his face grow hotter and his heart rate quicken. When the two finally moved away from each other, Roxas heard a familiar voice in the distance.

"Roxas! Hey, Rox! Where are you?" Xion called. The blonde could hear the bits of worry that decorated her tone.

The two teens stared at each other in mild terror. Xion catching them wouldn't be so bad. But there was always the possibility that someone else might join her in looking for the blonde and catch them instead. Mystery Redhead quickly moved backwards and reached up towards the lip of the hole.

"Well, New Friend, it was fun. Gotta go." He inelegantly leapt upwards after two failed tries, and scuttled away from the hole, leaving Roxas alone, with nothing but the quickly evaporating warmth the man had left and the ghostly pressure still lingering on his lips. He was left dumbfounded for a moment until he heard his name again. He snapped out of his daze and called back to his best friend. It took her all of two minutes to find him as she used her cellphone as a flashlight. He smiled up at her sheepishly.

"I leave you alone for five minutes, and you fall into a big ass hole? Really?" She deadpanned.

"Hey, I don't have the luxury of a flashlight app." He argued, reaching a hand out for a little assistance.

"Then upgrade to a phone that wasn't used back in the 1970s." She grunted as she helped pull him out. "Riku's ready to go. Kairi got a little too wasted and he wants to get her home before she starts blowing chunks and – why do your lips look so red?"

"Eh?" Roxas got a little wide-eyed. He reached his hand up to his lips. "Oh, must be the wine-cooler. Red stains, you know." He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. He hoped to high heaven she couldn't hear the ferocity his heart was beating with.

Xion gave him a side-eye but accepted the explanation anyway. She went on to fill him in on everything he'd missed while he was trapped, but Roxas was only half-listening. His brain wondering just where the Mystery Redhead had vanished to. They quickly met up with Sora and the others. (Roxas couldn't help but laugh at the frazzled look on his brother's face as he struggled to keep Kairi on her feet.) The blonde did everything in his power to keep from asking Riku about his magically disappearing friend.

It didn't take long for Sora, Kairi, and Xion to fall asleep on the way home. Roxas had too much buzzing through his mind to let him rest. As he continued to play the night's (well now, morning) activities through his mind, it dawned on him.

He never got Redhead's name.

* * *

And that my friends, is Part One. I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave any feedback, constructive criticism, or alert me of any typos in that pretty little box below. ;)


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